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Taken from the Oracle Service Humor Archives.
Basic smilies

:-)
Your basic smilie. This is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-)
Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark. More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie.
:-(
Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset or depressed about something.
:-I
Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as good as a happy smilie.
:->
User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:->
User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->
Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.
Somewhat less common ones:

:-[]
Mick Jagger
(8-o
It's Mr. Bill!
*:o)
And Bozo the Clown!
(-:
User is left handed.
%-)
User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight.
:*)
User is drunk.
[:]
User is a robot.
8-)
User is wearing sunglasses.
B:-)
Sunglasses on head.
::-)
User wears normal glasses.
B-)
User wears horn-rimmed glasses.
8:-)
User is a little girl.
:-)-8
User is a Big girl.
:-{)
User has a mustache.
:-{}
User wears lipstick.
{:-)
User wears a toupee.
}:-(
Toupee in an updraft.
:-[
User is a Vampire.
:-E
Bucktoothed vampire.
:-F
Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing.
:-7
User just made a wry statement.
:-*
User just ate something sour.
:-)~
User drools.
:-~
User has a clod.
:'-(
User is crying.
:'-)
User is so happy, S/he is crying.
:-@
User is screaming.
:-#
User wears braces.
:^)
User has a broken nose.
:V)
User has a broken nose, but it's the other way.
:_)
User's nose is sliding off of his face.
:<)
User is from an Ivy League School.
:-&
User is tongue tied.
=:-)
User is a hosehead.
-:-)
User is a punk rocker.
-:-(
(real punk rockers don't smile).
:=)
User has two noses.
+-:-)
User is the Pope or holds some other religious office.
':-)
User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning.
,:-)
Same thing other side.
|-I
User is asleep.
|-O
User is yawning/snoring.
:-Q
User is a smoker.
:-?
User smokes a pipe.
O-)
Megaton man on patroll! (or elsa, user is a scuba diver).
O :-)
User is an angel (at heart, at least).
:-P
Nyahhhh!.
:-S
User just made an incoherent statement.
:-D
User is laughing (at you!).
:-X
User's lips are sealed.
:-C
User is really bummed.
<|-)
User is Chinese.
<|-(
User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes.
:-/
User is skeptical.
C=:-)
User is a chef.
@=
User is pro-nuclear war.
*<:-)
User is wearing a santa Claus Hat.
:-o
Uh oh!.
3:]
Pet smilie.
3:[
Mean Pet smilie.
d8=
Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-)
User is a Ham radio operator.
:-9
User is licking his/her lips.
%-6
User is braindead.
[:-)
User is wearing a walkman.
(:I
User is an egghead.
<:-I
User is a dunce.
K:-P
User is a little kid with a propeller beenie.
@:-)
User is wearing a turban.
:-0
No Yelling! (Quiet Lab).
:-:
Mutant Smilie.
The invisible smilie.
.-)
User only has one eye.
,-)
Ditto but he's winking.
X-(
User just died.
8 :-)
User is a wizard.
C=}>;*{))
Mega-Smilie Adrunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin.

Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smilies.

:)
Midget smilie.
:-'
Smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco.
:-1
Smiley bland face.
:-@
Smiley face screaming.
:-#|
Smiley face with bushy mustache.
:-$
Smiley face with it's mouth wired shut.
:-%
Smiley banker.
:-6
Smiley after eating something sour.
:^)
Smiley with pointy nose (righty).
:-7
Smiley after a wry statement.
:-*
Smiley after eating something bitter.
:-&
Smiley which is tougue-tied.
:-0
Smiley orator.
(:-(
Unsmiley frowning.
(:-)
Smiley big-face.
):-(
Unsmiley big-face.
)8-)
Scuba smiley big-face.
=:-)
Smiley punk-rocker.
=:-(
Real punk rockers don't smile.
+:-)
Smiley priest.
:-q
Smiley trying to touch its tougue to its nose.
:-e
Disappointed smiley.
:-t
Cross smiley.
:-i
Semi-smiley.
:-o
Smiley singing national anthem.
:-p
Smiley sticking its tonque out (at you!).
:-[
Un-smiley blockhead.
:-]
Smiley blockhead.
:-{
Smiley variation on a theme.
:-}
Ditto.
{:-)
Smiley with its hair parted in the middle.
}:-)
Above in an updraft.
:-a
Lefty smilely touching tongue to nose.
:-s
Smiley after a Bizarre Comment.
:-d
Lefty smiley razzing you.
g-)
Smiley with ponce-nez glasses.
:-j
Left smiling smilely.
:-:
Mutant smiley.
:-\
Undecided smiley.
:-|
"Have an ordinary day" smiley.
;-)
Winking smiley.
:-<
Real sad smiley.
:-X
My lips are sealed smiley.
:-c
Bummed out smiley.
:-v
Talking head smiley.
:v)
Left-pointing nose smiley.
:-b
Left-pointing tongue smiley.
:-/
Lefty undecided smiley.
:-?
Smiley smoking a pipe.
.-]
One-eyed smiley.
,-}
Wry and winking.
O-)
Smiley cyclops (scuba diver?).
:-=)
Older smiley with must mustach.
:u)
Smiley with funny-looking left nose.
:n)
Smiley with funny-looking right nose.
:<
Midget unsmiley.
:>
Midget smiley.
}:^#})
Mega-smiley: Updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin.
Don't forget this little lot...

:-)
ha ha.
~~:-(
net.flame.
|-)
hee hee.
O |-)
net.religion.
|-D
ho ho.
:->
hey hey.
8 :-I
net.unix-wizards.
:-(
boo hoo.
X-(
net.suicide.
:-I
hmm.
E-:-I
net.ham-radio.
:-O
uh oh.
>:-I
net.startrek.
:-P
nyah nyah.
3:o[
net.pets.
\-P
yuk.
:-}
beard.
:-{
mustache.
:-#
braces.
:-X
bow tie.
:-Q
smoker.
@lt;:I
dunce.
(:I
egghead.
@:I
turban.
8-)
glasses.
B-)
horn-rims.
8:-)
glasses on forehead.
:-8(
condescending stare.
;-)
wink.
>:->
mad.